Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,
The good fortune to run into the people I do like,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.
BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENT
These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:
FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.
Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
And the WINNER is… FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
“The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it” -Richard Bach
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.. So love the people who treat you right.. Forget about the ones who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.
Prayer is not a “spare wheel” that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a “steering wheel” that directs the right path throughout the journey.
So why is a Car’s WINDSHIELD so large & the Rear View Mirror so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, Look Ahead and Move on.
Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes a few minutes to burn, but it takes years to write.
All things in life are Temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don’t worry, they can’t last long either.
Old Friends are Gold! New Friends are Diamond! If you get a Diamond, don’t forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold!
Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, “Relax, sweetheart, it’s just a bend, not the end!
When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn’t solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.
A blind person asked St. Anthony: “Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?” He replied: “Yes, losing your vision!”
When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.
WORRYING does not take away tomorrow’s TROUBLES, it takes away today’s PEACE.